Archive for the ‘Dating Women’ Category
Friday, March 6th, 2009
Invest in a Paid Membership To really get the most out of online dating, you should invest in a paid membership. Free memberships and trial memberships are good when you are trying to find the online dating service that will best match your needs and goals so once you have found a site you are comfortable with, take the plunge. Think of it as an investment in your future. Take Your Time Miracles don’t happen in the real world so don’t expect that they will happen in the online world either. A one-month membership isn’t generally enough time to really experiment with all an online dating service offers. It’s going to take you a few days just to get everything set up to the point that you are happy. You are going to need time to develop a relationship just as you would under traditional dating circumstances. Be Honest Honesty really is the best policy, and so that you don’t waste anyone’s time, be especially honest about the type of relationship you seek. In addition, you’ve got to put a concentrated effort into getting what you want. Your ideal relationship isn’t going to happen without your assistance. Write a Powerful Profile Header It is the best way you have of getting noticed. In the world of online dating, you are one small fish swimming among a sea of thousands of other fish. It takes creativity to get noticed so don’t be afraid to try something new. Select the Right Photograph
Your photo will be looked at even before any of the words you have written about yourself. If you are serious about online dating, consider hiring a professional photographer to capture a few good images on just you images that will also be current! Keep the Conversation Light Always put on a happy face when you are communicating with someone you’ve connected with online. You’ve got to learn how to flirt without the use of your body language. Learn how to make your words evoke laughter. Build up the parts of your life that are interesting. Use the wink emoticon to break the ice. Use IM & the Phone When you’re ready to take an online relationship further, chatting in real time and even talking on the phone will really become important. If you remember the rules of safety, you don’t have to be afraid to venture out of the safe environment of sending and replying to email. Don’t Divulge Personal Information Always play it safe because until you meet in person a few times, it’s not possible to really know what the person on the other side of your correspondence is really up to. When you correspond, use generalities, not specifics. For example, you might state your occupation, but do not give the name of the company you work for, the branch location or other identifying information and never give out your last name, address, even the town in which you live. It’s just not necessary, especially early on.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: comfort, communication, connection, correspondence, creativity, dating, image, investment, laughter, membership, online, professional, rules, safety, subscription, trial
Posted in 3, Blind Dates, Dating Men, Dating Women, Life Coaching | 1 Comment »
Friday, March 6th, 2009
You’ve been thinking about joining an online dating website but something is keeping you from pushing that JOIN button. Maybe you haven’t pushed that button yet because you haven’t prepared yourself. If so, then sit back and take a moment to see where you’re at with the whole concept of online dating. Dating, whether online or by traditional methods, is a huge step for many people, not just for those who are shy. Some people have never dated before. Others who are newly single may not have been part of the dating scene for many years. Others have had one bad experience after another and are trying to deal with issues of self-doubt or self-worth. Whether or not you see yourself in any of these examples, it’s important that you have an idea of what you want to get out of online dating. Knowing these answers will help you write a more effective profile and when your profile reflects your wants and needs, you won’t waste time on others who are looking for something entirely different. Are You Ready to Date Online? That’s the very first question you need to answer. If your heart and your head aren’t in this, then don’t start yet. You’ll waste your time as well as that of other members. And if the online dating site costs money to join, you’ll waste your money, too. Maybe you aren’t ready to ‘date’ but you are ready for companionship. That’s an important realization because you will likely find others online who are seeking companionship, too. The interesting thing about companionship, however, is that people differ in their definition of companionship. Dates with no strings attached and even casual one-night-stands are both definitions of ‘companionship’. So if you’re looking for a shoulder to cry on or someone to play Bingo with, make sure your intentions are clear. What Qualities Are You Seeking? Besides a particular eye and hair color, think about the qualities you are looking for in a mate. Here it’s important to think about more than physical attributes. Is your perfect soul mate someone who skis or surfs or who loves to putter in the garden? Can the person be recently divorced or widowed, or would you prefer someone new to the game of love? Is there a limit as to how old of a person you’re willing to date or how young for that matter? Should a mate share similar interests or will someone with differing interests better suit your needs? What are Your Online Dating Goals? Finally, ask yourself about your desired end results of your efforts. Are you looking for a long-term commitment that could ultimately lead to marriage? Do you seek friendship? Will a long-distance relationship be acceptable? Even though you answer all of the above questions, it doesn’t mean that your wants can’t change as you make your way through the online dating scene. These answers just give you a starting point. After all, your ultimate destination really is all about the journey!
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: companionship, dating, heart, intentions, interests, long-distance, match, mate, members, online, preparation, profile, self-doubt, self-worth, single, traditional
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Courses, Dating Men, Dating Women, Online Dating | No Comments »
Friday, March 6th, 2009
Being Too Shy Many people think that online dating is a wonderful way for people who are shy to date. Well guess what? Being shy online will lead to just as many failed attempts at dating as it does in the offline world. If you don’t want to fail at online dating, you’ve got to come out of your shell. Being Passive Rather Than Active This is different than being shy. Passive daters are not fully committed to the idea of online dating. They approach it with half of their attention and most don’t commit to a paid membership which puts everyone at a disadvantage. Regardless of the reason for your passivity, whether you’re indecisive, fear rejection or are just too lazy, failing at online dating will be a blow to your ego. Cutting & Pasting Your Replies Some people will see through this masked attempt at originality. This type of correspondence is impersonal and if it’s all you’ve got time for, then perhaps you don’t really have enough time for dating. If you do this because you’re not good with words, then read how others respond to your messages and use these as guides. Nobody likes a form letter, especially when they’re looking for romance. Sounding Negative or Arrogant No one wants to talk to someone who is a downer or just the opposite, someone who cannot stop talking about him/herself. Keep your negative experiences to yourself. You’re starting anew and there is no need to drag your past into your future. And a successful relationship is a two-way relationship. If you do all the talking, it won’t ever develop into anything more than a one-way dead end. Making Overt or Borderline Sexually Harassing Comments Asking questions that are too personal or offering up blunt descriptions of what you think is an almost guaranteed way to scare off your prospective dates. Plus doing so could put your membership in jeopardy. Lying About Your Relationship Status You’ll get away with this type of lie for some period, but ultimately, always, this type of lie will come back to bite you and it will hurt either you or the person you’re involved with. Lying About Your Real Looks It’s tempting to use photo enhancement tools to make your photo more alluring. Plenty of online daters do this. Or they post a photo that is 10 or so years old. Whether your photo isn’t an accurate representation, or whether the words you use to describe your physical appearance are exaggerated, lying about your looks is another reason people fail at online dating. Corresponding Only with the ‘Hotties’ You’ve got just as much chance getting hooked up with the person behind the stunning image as you do if you saw that person at a trendy nightclub slim to none. That person will be bombarded with email and the chances of finding yours AND finding yours interesting are slim. Get back to reality or online dating will never work for you!
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: arrogance, concerns, dates, dating, harassment, honest, image, indecisive, internet, negative, online, overt, passive, rejection, shy
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Men, Dating Women, Online Dating | No Comments »
Friday, March 6th, 2009
You’ve heard people talking about it. You’ve probably even seen advertisements for it on television. But for some reason, you haven’t yet given online dating a try. Perhaps you’re a bit nervous. Perhaps you don’t know a lot about computers and the Internet. Perhaps you’ll think less of yourself if you try and find companionship using technology rather than your personality. These concerns are understandable, but when you consider that millions of men and women are doing it every day, you’ve got to think that maybe online dating isn’t so bad. The way online dating works is really simple. You first need a way to connect to the Internet, which most people today already have so that should not be an issue. Then using the Internet, you need to find a suitable online dating website. Don’t let the word suitable scare you off. As you’ll see once you get into online dating, there are lots of different dating sites that cater to different groups or lifestyles. You’ll find sites for seniors, Christians, homosexuals, plain old heterosexual, and plenty more. Most of the online dating sites are subscription-based, meaning that you’ll have to join before you’ll be able to participate. Most often, it will cost money to join, but on some online dating websites, membership is free. The process of joining usually doesn’t involve much more than agreeing to the online dating site’s terms and conditions and paying the fee, if applicable. Once you’re a member, the next thing you’ll need to do is create a profile and a header. Your profile is what other members are going to read and based on your profile, another person should be able to determine whether you sound like someone worth pursuing. An effective profile not only describes you, it also talks about the qualities you’re looking for in someone else. Make it unique and be sure to proofread it before posting so you’re certain that what it says is really what you want to say. If the site allows members to attach photos to profiles, you’ll have to decide if this is something you’ll want to do. If so, just follow the instructions to attach it to your profile. Once your profile is posted, you can sit back and wait for others to start corresponding or you can start checking out other members’ profiles. If you find someone who sounds interesting, you can initiate the conversation. Besides corresponding via email and the ability to sort/delete your messages, online dating sites usually offer other activities you can participate in. Some sites offer live (typed) conversations via a site’s message board, and some sites host special events. Check both out and see whether those are activities you want to participate in. Online dating websites offer two really nice features. First, most are open around the clock so you can ‘date’ when it’s convenient for you. And second, new members join all the time so there will always be someone new to check out!
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: concerns, dates, dating, internet, lifestyle, Love, match, nervous, online, profile, romantic, subscription
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Men, Dating Women, Online Dating | No Comments »
Saturday, February 28th, 2009
All of us have satellite friends who flit in and out of our lives, hanging around long enough to have a little fun, and then skedaddle. If we’re fortunate, however, we have another class of friends who are so loyal that, as the saying goes, they’re the ones who show up on moving day. These are the friends who generally have your back in every conceivable way, and are the friends you need to pay attention to when they express genuine concerns about any aspect of your life – including dates. As a general rule of thumb, if one of your loyal friends expresses concern about your new date, you may be able to easily toss it off as a random judgment. If a second of your loyal friends expresses concern, it is advisable to be on alert, and spend a little time trying to ascertain whether you’re viewing the new relationship accurately. What are your friends seeing that you may be missing? If yet a third loyal friend expresses concern about your new date, a definitive pattern has been established, and at this point it’s highly advisable that you step back and take serious stock of the situation. It may have been difficult for your friends to have even made the comments they did, waiting and hoping for you to openly dialog about the subject. So at this point, do it! Ask your friends to elaborate on their observations and perceptions. Ask them for specific examples of what they see. Why, specifically are they all expressing concern? In the end, you may decide to proceed with your date, but you’ll be doing so with far more awareness of, and attention to, possible problem areas with your date.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: awareness, concerns, dates, dating, friends, observations, perceptions
Posted in Dating Courses, Dating Men, Dating Women | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
Where you meet a woman has the power to define the rest of your relationship. This is true because of three things: First, because where a woman spends most of her time says a lot about the kind of person she is. If she’s outgoing and likes to party, chances are you’ll meet her at a club. If she’s athletic and competitive, you might find her at a race. If she’s into humanitarian causes, you might bump into her while building a house for Habitat for Humanity. Second, she’ll remember where you met, and that will affect her perception of you. If you meet her at a club, she might assume you only want a casual relationship. If your friends introduce you to her, she’ll know that your friends and her friends already think you might be a good couple, and you’ll probably still see each other sometimes even if you break up. Third, if she makes a big impression on you when you meet, you’ll also remember what circumstances you met under. You might always think of her as the wild girl at the club, even if she normally doesn’t go to clubs. These things set the tone for your relationship. Of course, the circumstances that you meet under don’t have to define the rest of the relationship, but it takes work to erase any negative impressions either one of you might have made. And the very beginning of a relationship is not a good time for problems. The best place to meet women is during the course of your real life. You shouldn’t have to go out of your way to meet women. If you don’t see women with the potential to be great girlfriends during your everyday routine, then you need to get out more – literally. Don’t worry about coming across someone perfect unexpectedly. That’s really the best way to meet women. It’s hard to look desperate for a girlfriend when you’re just going about your business. You can be approachable and attractive even when you aren’t trying to be. Learning how to meet women anywhere makes dating easier on you in the long run. If the only reason you went somewhere was to find single women, you’re going to have a hard time explaining why you don’t want to go back when you have a girlfriend. Desperate men chase after women, and you don’t have to be desperate. Meet women wherever you are and leave a good impression, and sooner or later one is going to show you that she’s interested.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: blind-date, clubs, correspondence, dates, dating, desperate, image, impression, instincts, location, meeting, online, preparation, rules, safety
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Women | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
The first step to getting a great girlfriend is deciding exactly what kind of woman would be right for you. You don’t want to settle for a woman who isn’t someone you like being around for more than just a little while. The point of getting a girlfriend is to have someone to have more fun with. If you get into a relationship and end up miserable, you’re doing something wrong. So first, decide exactly what you want. That’s the only way you’ll stand a chance at getting it. How do you want to date? Do you want fun, casual, short-term relationships with several women at once? Would you rather have one girlfriend who you really have fun with and respect? Do you want to date a few women casually at first and see if you’d like to get more serious later? Who do you want to date? A friendly, down-to-earth girl-next-door? Someone outgoing and adventurous? An elegant and sophisticated woman? A quiet and reserved type who saves most of her attention for you? Or again, several different women so that you can see who you enjoy being around the most? What are you going to do together? Do you want someone to go with to all the local clubs? Would you rather have a girlfriend who sits on the sidelines and cheers for you, or one who will jump right in the game? How about a girlfriend who enjoys a sport or hobby you’ve never tried? It’s a good idea to start working this out now, before you meet her and before she announces that she’s bored with dinner and a movie every time you go out. Right now, you might think that physical attraction is all that a relationship requires, and you’d be right for the first date…maybe. But eventually, if you haven’t thought through what you want to give and receive in your relationship, your girlfriend will get on your nerves until you have to break it off. But if you start off your relationship right, you’ll be much more likely to get a great girlfriend who you’ll never want to leave. Remember that you have to have something to offer in a relationship, too. What will that be? There are a few things that women want that will surprise you, and others that will seem incredibly obvious. And then there are other things that you thought were important that turn out not to matter at all. So what’s fact and what’s fiction? This series will tell you after you figure out what it is that you really want out of your dating life.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: dates, dating, game, games, girlfriend, Love, match, preparation, relationship, serious, woman
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Women | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
The first step to getting a great girlfriend is deciding exactly what kind of woman would be right for you. You don’t want to settle for a woman who isn’t someone you like being around for more than just a little while. The point of getting a girlfriend is to have someone to have more fun with. If you get into a relationship and end up miserable, you’re doing something wrong. So first, decide exactly what you want. That’s the only way you’ll stand a chance at getting it. How do you want to date? Do you want fun, casual, short-term relationships with several women at once? Would you rather have one girlfriend who you really have fun with and respect? Do you want to date a few women casually at first and see if you’d like to get more serious later? Who do you want to date? A friendly, down-to-earth girl-next-door? Someone outgoing and adventurous? An elegant and sophisticated woman? A quiet and reserved type who saves most of her attention for you? Or again, several different women so that you can see who you enjoy being around the most? What are you going to do together? Do you want someone to go with to all the local clubs? Would you rather have a girlfriend who sits on the sidelines and cheers for you, or one who will jump right in the game? How about a girlfriend who enjoys a sport or hobby you’ve never tried? It’s a good idea to start working this out now, before you meet her and before she announces that she’s bored with dinner and a movie every time you go out. Right now, you might think that physical attraction is all that a relationship requires, and you’d be right for the first date…maybe. But eventually, if you haven’t thought through what you want to give and receive in your relationship, your girlfriend will get on your nerves until you have to break it off. But if you start off your relationship right, you’ll be much more likely to get a great girlfriend who you’ll never want to leave. Remember that you have to have something to offer in a relationship, too. What will that be? There are a few things that women want that will surprise you, and others that will seem incredibly obvious. And then there are other things that you thought were important that turn out not to matter at all. So what’s fact and what’s fiction? This series will tell you after you figure out what it is that you really want out of your dating life.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: adventurous, casual, clubs, down-to-earth, elegant, girl-next-door, lifestyle, Love, match, meeting, outgoing, relationship, short-term, sophisticated, supportive
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Women | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
Just as no woman wants a man who isn’t in control of his life, you don’t need a woman whose life is a disaster. If she has bad habits, addictions, or a history of decisions that turn out to make her life worse, pass her by. While you may like to feel needed, you don’t need to feel necessary for her survival in the everyday world. If she isn’t capable of taking care of herself, you don’t need to rescue her. Be nice to her, but don’t think you can cure her of an addiction or teach her how to handle her personal life better. That’s what counselors are for. Trying to take on that role in a romantic relationship just won’t work. If you find yourself attracted to a woman who just doesn’t have her life together, you need to date someone else. Later, when she decides on her own to straighten out her life, you might date her. But until then, don’t even try it. Remember, you want your relationships to be happy. If she can’t be happy because her life is a mess, you can’t make her happy and you can’t be happy with her. You can’t just come in and fix everything for her. That’s her job as an adult. Taking over that job will make her angry with you, no matter how much better your solutions are. Also, constantly having to rescue a woman gets old really quick, so don’t pick that relationship in the first place and you have a better chance of staying together. Hold out for a woman who has her life together. If she is healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially, you’ll be able to tell. She’ll be happy, calm, and self-aware. She won’t have to escape reality with drugs or alcohol, or dull the pain in her life with self-destructive behavior. A woman you want to date will be able to take care of herself and she won’t be desperate for a man to come bail her out. A healthy woman won’t use you for security, because she already has her own. She’ll still want to be with you, but because she likes you, not because of what you can do for her. And she won’t drop you because someone better comes along. She won’t make excuses for dumb decisions and insist that she has no choice but to be a victim. She won’t have drama cluttering up her life which means that she’ll have room for a healthy, happy relationship with you. She’ll like you for YOU, and she’ll be much less likely to be clingy and jealous as well.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: calm, clingy, competent, control, dates, dating, drama, finding, healthy, jealous, match, needs, relationship, romantic, self-aware, self-destructive, woman, women
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Women | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
Dating may seem relaxing when experienced by individuals who feel trapped in their relationships, but for those dating, it’s often not relaxing, but quite stressful. There’s anxiety about what to talk about on the date, what to wear, how you are perceived, whether you’ll like the person romantically etc. Be natural and don’t feel you have to give a performance every time you get ready to go out for a date. Try to view your date as an adventure and not a chore. In addition, a single person often feels pressure from friends, co-workers and one’s parents to finally “settle down” and find “the one”. Sometimes you can feel dread when running into someone you know, anticipating the inevitable question about finding that special someone. You can simply let your friends and family know that you are in a dating phase for now and you’ll let them know if you meet someone that you feel has potential for a long-term relationship. Try to not put additional pressure on yourself to ensure each date measures up to a certain standard you may have in mind, but instead try to be “in the moment “and focus on getting to know your date. Don’t worry about whether the date will evolve into a long-term relationship, or be distracted by the desire to finally tell your friends and family you may have met the perfect person. Just let go of everything and simply experience your date. Listen carefully, try to enjoy yourself. If nothing else, you’ll develop better communication skills and practice the fine art of relaxing even though your life isn’t fully settled yet. A lot of people have difficulty feeling whole when they aren’t in a relationship and find it to be a challenge to feel comfortable with such an unresolved issue. Learning to stay centered and relax is a very good way to gain personal strength, gain confidence and balance, and be at peace despite the fact that external circumstances are not exactly how they want them to be.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: anxiety, communication, dates, dating, match, pressure, relationship, relaxing, romantic, stress, trapped
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Men, Dating Women | No Comments »
