Archive for March, 2009

What Do You Want From A Girlfriend?

Thursday, March 12th, 2009

Attract men everywhere 1The first step to getting a great girlfriend is deciding exactly what kind of woman would be right for you. You don’t want to settle for a woman who isn’t someone you like being around for more than just a little while. The point of getting a girlfriend is to have someone to have more fun with. If you get into a relationship and end up miserable, you’re doing something wrong. So first, decide exactly what you want. That’s the only way you’ll stand a chance at getting it. How do you want to date? Do you want fun, casual, short-term relationships with several women at once? Would you rather have one girlfriend who you really have fun with and respect? Do you want to date a few women casually at first and see if you’d like to get more serious later? Who do you want to date? A friendly, down-to-earth girl-next-door? Someone outgoing and adventurous? An elegant and sophisticated woman? A quiet and reserved type who saves most of her attention for you? Or again, several different women so that you can see who you enjoy being around the most? What are you going to do together? Do you want someone to go with to all the local clubs? Would you rather have a girlfriend who sits on the sidelines and cheers for you, or one who will jump right in the game? How about a girlfriend who enjoys a sport or hobby you’ve never tried? It’s a good idea to start working this out now, before you meet her and before she announces that she’s bored with dinner and a movie every time you go out. Right now, you might think that physical attraction is all that a relationship requires, and you’d be right for the first date…maybe. But eventually, if you haven’t thought through what you want to give and receive in your relationship, your girlfriend will get on your nerves until you have to break it off. But if you start off your relationship right, you’ll be much more likely to get a great girlfriend who you’ll never want to leave. Remember that you have to have something to offer in a relationship, too. What will that be? There are a few things that women want that will surprise you, and others that will seem incredibly obvious. And then there are other things that you thought were important that turn out not to matter at all. So what’s fact and what’s fiction?

 

Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.

Is Online Dating a Boon or a Bust?

Saturday, March 7th, 2009

Online DatingClick, Find Love.

Is this a new movie or a title of a book focusing in love on the Internet? Think You’ve got mail, Must love dogs and Napoleon Dynamite, all films geared towards finding love or partners online. Have we really lost the era of romanticism?

While it is undeniable that a large number of people have found its way to online dating, it is certainly not regarded as a last recourse for those who have had a challenging time looking for dates. In fact, online dating is just like putting up a personal ad in a magazine or newspaper, a popular method in the late 80’s and early 90’s although online dating is much faster and more convenient.

What you get with online dating is the same as the personal ads in print, with so much more benefits and options. It’s still a blind chase but at least you get to check on it everyday, like tracking down how many people viewed your profile, you get instant messages in a matter of seconds and responses to messages are instantaneous.

While some have thanked their lucky stars for online dating, some sees this as a curse, fit for the preying for online wolves. Admittedly, a lot of shady persons have used the cloak of anonymity of the Internet to mask their true intentions. Profiles are not completely honest, old photos are uploaded and some even have the audacity to ask for money.

There have even been reports of some people from different countries meet up, some women lured into sex in promise of a new comfortable life and probably marriage. But to the credit of online dating, there have also been a lot of success stories involving a happy marriage or union.

Another known problems are with some online dating sites that have padded their member list with “bait” profiles, putting up more members to show that they have a vast membership. This would let a potential member think that there is a lot of people he or she can meet on the site and their chances of meeting a person they could probably like to get to know would grow higher.

But even with those mentioned problems, the popularity of online dating is rising at the speed and strength of a careening freight train at top speed. More and more websites have mushroomed and more people are signing up, sometimes even to more than two online dating sites.

The grasp of online dating sites extends to people who find the “chase” exciting and thrilling, the mystique of meeting a complete stranger adds up to the excitement.

There are also a good number of online dating aficionados that are relatively shy and would only be able to effectively communicate with other people behind the monitor using the keyboard as their mouthpiece.

Be it either for a short- or long-term relationship, online dating sites have already proven its effectivity and reliability with a startling ratio of success stories.

In fact, in 2004, US residents alone have spent $469.5 million in online dating sites, covering the fees. Online dating is now regarded as the largest industry in the paid website content.

There are now more than a thousand online dating sites, growing at en estimate of 35 percent increase each year. Shares in the market though are dominated by a couple of large websites which includes league giants Yahoo with Yahoo Personals, American Singles and Match.com to name a few.

But online dating is not only for us Americans, although we do dominate the market. The online dating bug has also bitten Europe with increased memberships seen and more and more European online dating sites popping up.

With the trend in growth going sky high, it wouldn’t be a wonder that five to ten years from know, a great number of married couple would attribute their meeting to online dating.

But unlike a romantic movie, not all person that you meet online is a prince just waiting to ride his white horse or a damsel in distress in a high tower just waiting to drop her hair for you to climb and live happily ever after.

Get to know a person thoroughly first and if possible, get him or her to show herself or himself through a webcam, then gradually go to talking through phones. Take it slow before agreeing to personally meet each other.

Click, Find Love – It might as well be the start of your own love story.

 

Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.

Spotting Online Dating Scams & Cheats

Friday, March 6th, 2009

Frustrated with datingThe real world as well as the virtual world is full of scam artists, liars, cheaters, stalkers, and plenty of other types of unsavory characters. Both worlds are also full of honest, reliable, trustworthy, hard-working individuals as well. One of the biggest challenges facing those participating in online dating is learning how to tell the difference. Fortunately there are ways to know when you are being scammed and there are things you can do to protect yourself from becoming a victim. Trust Your Instincts Women especially seem to be in-tune with their gut feelings and this actually is one of your best defenses. Pay attention to your instincts because more often than not, they are picking up on vibes you might not be noticing. When your instincts start screaming at you to cease communicating with someone, just do it. You can question your instincts later on, if you want. Or you can start working your next prospective love match. Inconsistent Stories, Vague Responses There is a good chance you are being lied to or scammed when the person cannot keep his or her facts straight. Learn how to listen to the words you read and you will learn how to identify inconsistencies. They usually appear in the basic information another offers such as profession, age, marital status, hobbies and interests, even appearance. When someone cannot keep these basic facts straight, that person likely is lying. Talk on the Phone For your own safety and protection, always arrange to talk on the phone before agreeing to meet in person anyone you have met online. You will get a genuine feel for the person on the other end by doing so. If this person turns out to be the smoothest talker you have ever encountered, that should be a red flag. Also, if the person cannot seem to arrange a convenient time to talk on the phone, this is a bad sign and you should consider ending this relationship. Asking for Money Anytime someone you are communicating with online asks you for money or for your banking or credit card information or any other thing having to do with your personal finances, you are being set up to be scammed. Contrary to what people think, even the brightest, most worldly individuals have fallen victim to this type of scam. Even if you are being given the saddest, most unfortunate or dire story about why the other person needs your financial assistance, it is most likely a lie. It is in your best interest to stop all communication immediately, and this person should be reported, even if doing so makes you feel uncomfortable. Keep Personal Information Personal The more personal information you give out during your online communications, the more you increase your chances of being victimized. Don’t divulge your hometown, name of employer, last name, phone number, real email address, home address, nothing. If another person keeps insisting on this type of information from you, it’s time to move on.

 

Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.

How to Succeed at Online Dating

Friday, March 6th, 2009

Invest in a Paid Membership To really get the most out of online dating, you should invest in a paid membership. Free memberships and trial memberships are good when you are trying to find the online dating service that will best match your needs and goals so once you have found a site you are comfortable with, take the plunge. Think of it as an investment in your future. Take Your Time Miracles don’t happen in the real world so don’t expect that they will happen in the online world either. A one-month membership isn’t generally enough time to really experiment with all an online dating service offers. It’s going to take you a few days just to get everything set up to the point that you are happy. You are going to need time to develop a relationship just as you would under traditional dating circumstances. Be Honest Honesty really is the best policy, and so that you don’t waste anyone’s time, be especially honest about the type of relationship you seek. In addition, you’ve got to put a concentrated effort into getting what you want. Your ideal relationship isn’t going to happen without your assistance. Write a Powerful Profile Header It is the best way you have of getting noticed. In the world of online dating, you are one small fish swimming among a sea of thousands of other fish. It takes creativity to get noticed so don’t be afraid to try something new. Select the Right Photographanna Your photo will be looked at even before any of the words you have written about yourself. If you are serious about online dating, consider hiring a professional photographer to capture a few good images on just you images that will also be current! Keep the Conversation Light Always put on a happy face when you are communicating with someone you’ve connected with online. You’ve got to learn how to flirt without the use of your body language. Learn how to make your words evoke laughter. Build up the parts of your life that are interesting. Use the wink emoticon to break the ice. Use IM & the Phone When you’re ready to take an online relationship further, chatting in real time and even talking on the phone will really become important. If you remember the rules of safety, you don’t have to be afraid to venture out of the safe environment of sending and replying to email. Don’t Divulge Personal Information Always play it safe because until you meet in person a few times, it’s not possible to really know what the person on the other side of your correspondence is really up to. When you correspond, use generalities, not specifics. For example, you might state your occupation, but do not give the name of the company you work for, the branch location or other identifying information and never give out your last name, address, even the town in which you live. It’s just not necessary, especially early on.

 

Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.

How to Prepare for Online Dating

Friday, March 6th, 2009

Fabulous great datesYou’ve been thinking about joining an online dating website but something is keeping you from pushing that JOIN button. Maybe you haven’t pushed that button yet because you haven’t prepared yourself. If so, then sit back and take a moment to see where you’re at with the whole concept of online dating. Dating, whether online or by traditional methods, is a huge step for many people, not just for those who are shy. Some people have never dated before. Others who are newly single may not have been part of the dating scene for many years. Others have had one bad experience after another and are trying to deal with issues of self-doubt or self-worth. Whether or not you see yourself in any of these examples, it’s important that you have an idea of what you want to get out of online dating. Knowing these answers will help you write a more effective profile and when your profile reflects your wants and needs, you won’t waste time on others who are looking for something entirely different. Are You Ready to Date Online? That’s the very first question you need to answer. If your heart and your head aren’t in this, then don’t start yet. You’ll waste your time as well as that of other members. And if the online dating site costs money to join, you’ll waste your money, too. Maybe you aren’t ready to ‘date’ but you are ready for companionship. That’s an important realization because you will likely find others online who are seeking companionship, too. The interesting thing about companionship, however, is that people differ in their definition of companionship. Dates with no strings attached and even casual one-night-stands are both definitions of ‘companionship’. So if you’re looking for a shoulder to cry on or someone to play Bingo with, make sure your intentions are clear. What Qualities Are You Seeking? Besides a particular eye and hair color, think about the qualities you are looking for in a mate. Here it’s important to think about more than physical attributes. Is your perfect soul mate someone who skis or surfs or who loves to putter in the garden? Can the person be recently divorced or widowed, or would you prefer someone new to the game of love? Is there a limit as to how old of a person you’re willing to date or how young for that matter? Should a mate share similar interests or will someone with differing interests better suit your needs? What are Your Online Dating Goals? Finally, ask yourself about your desired end results of your efforts. Are you looking for a long-term commitment that could ultimately lead to marriage? Do you seek friendship? Will a long-distance relationship be acceptable? Even though you answer all of the above questions, it doesn’t mean that your wants can’t change as you make your way through the online dating scene. These answers just give you a starting point. After all, your ultimate destination really is all about the journey!

 

Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.

How to Fail at Online Dating

Friday, March 6th, 2009

Frustrated with datingBeing Too Shy Many people think that online dating is a wonderful way for people who are shy to date. Well guess what? Being shy online will lead to just as many failed attempts at dating as it does in the offline world. If you don’t want to fail at online dating, you’ve got to come out of your shell. Being Passive Rather Than Active This is different than being shy. Passive daters are not fully committed to the idea of online dating. They approach it with half of their attention and most don’t commit to a paid membership which puts everyone at a disadvantage. Regardless of the reason for your passivity, whether you’re indecisive, fear rejection or are just too lazy, failing at online dating will be a blow to your ego. Cutting & Pasting Your Replies Some people will see through this masked attempt at originality. This type of correspondence is impersonal and if it’s all you’ve got time for, then perhaps you don’t really have enough time for dating. If you do this because you’re not good with words, then read how others respond to your messages and use these as guides. Nobody likes a form letter, especially when they’re looking for romance. Sounding Negative or Arrogant No one wants to talk to someone who is a downer or just the opposite, someone who cannot stop talking about him/herself. Keep your negative experiences to yourself. You’re starting anew and there is no need to drag your past into your future. And a successful relationship is a two-way relationship. If you do all the talking, it won’t ever develop into anything more than a one-way dead end. Making Overt or Borderline Sexually Harassing Comments Asking questions that are too personal or offering up blunt descriptions of what you think is an almost guaranteed way to scare off your prospective dates. Plus doing so could put your membership in jeopardy. Lying About Your Relationship Status You’ll get away with this type of lie for some period, but ultimately, always, this type of lie will come back to bite you and it will hurt either you or the person you’re involved with. Lying About Your Real Looks It’s tempting to use photo enhancement tools to make your photo more alluring. Plenty of online daters do this. Or they post a photo that is 10 or so years old. Whether your photo isn’t an accurate representation, or whether the words you use to describe your physical appearance are exaggerated, lying about your looks is another reason people fail at online dating. Corresponding Only with the ‘Hotties’ You’ve got just as much chance getting hooked up with the person behind the stunning image as you do if you saw that person at a trendy nightclub slim to none. That person will be bombarded with email and the chances of finding yours AND finding yours interesting are slim. Get back to reality or online dating will never work for you!

 

Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.

How Online Dating Works

Friday, March 6th, 2009

Playing the NumbersYou’ve heard people talking about it. You’ve probably even seen advertisements for it on television. But for some reason, you haven’t yet given online dating a try. Perhaps you’re a bit nervous. Perhaps you don’t know a lot about computers and the Internet. Perhaps you’ll think less of yourself if you try and find companionship using technology rather than your personality. These concerns are understandable, but when you consider that millions of men and women are doing it every day, you’ve got to think that maybe online dating isn’t so bad. The way online dating works is really simple. You first need a way to connect to the Internet, which most people today already have so that should not be an issue. Then using the Internet, you need to find a suitable online dating website. Don’t let the word suitable scare you off. As you’ll see once you get into online dating, there are lots of different dating sites that cater to different groups or lifestyles. You’ll find sites for seniors, Christians, homosexuals, plain old heterosexual, and plenty more. Most of the online dating sites are subscription-based, meaning that you’ll have to join before you’ll be able to participate. Most often, it will cost money to join, but on some online dating websites, membership is free. The process of joining usually doesn’t involve much more than agreeing to the online dating site’s terms and conditions and paying the fee, if applicable. Once you’re a member, the next thing you’ll need to do is create a profile and a header. Your profile is what other members are going to read and based on your profile, another person should be able to determine whether you sound like someone worth pursuing. An effective profile not only describes you, it also talks about the qualities you’re looking for in someone else. Make it unique and be sure to proofread it before posting so you’re certain that what it says is really what you want to say. If the site allows members to attach photos to profiles, you’ll have to decide if this is something you’ll want to do. If so, just follow the instructions to attach it to your profile. Once your profile is posted, you can sit back and wait for others to start corresponding or you can start checking out other members’ profiles. If you find someone who sounds interesting, you can initiate the conversation. Besides corresponding via email and the ability to sort/delete your messages, online dating sites usually offer other activities you can participate in. Some sites offer live (typed) conversations via a site’s message board, and some sites host special events. Check both out and see whether those are activities you want to participate in. Online dating websites offer two really nice features. First, most are open around the clock so you can ‘date’ when it’s convenient for you. And second, new members join all the time so there will always be someone new to check out!

 

Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.