Archive for February, 2009
Saturday, February 28th, 2009
All of us have satellite friends who flit in and out of our lives, hanging around long enough to have a little fun, and then skedaddle. If we’re fortunate, however, we have another class of friends who are so loyal that, as the saying goes, they’re the ones who show up on moving day. These are the friends who generally have your back in every conceivable way, and are the friends you need to pay attention to when they express genuine concerns about any aspect of your life – including dates. As a general rule of thumb, if one of your loyal friends expresses concern about your new date, you may be able to easily toss it off as a random judgment. If a second of your loyal friends expresses concern, it is advisable to be on alert, and spend a little time trying to ascertain whether you’re viewing the new relationship accurately. What are your friends seeing that you may be missing? If yet a third loyal friend expresses concern about your new date, a definitive pattern has been established, and at this point it’s highly advisable that you step back and take serious stock of the situation. It may have been difficult for your friends to have even made the comments they did, waiting and hoping for you to openly dialog about the subject. So at this point, do it! Ask your friends to elaborate on their observations and perceptions. Ask them for specific examples of what they see. Why, specifically are they all expressing concern? In the end, you may decide to proceed with your date, but you’ll be doing so with far more awareness of, and attention to, possible problem areas with your date.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: awareness, concerns, dates, dating, friends, observations, perceptions
Posted in Dating Courses, Dating Men, Dating Women | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
Where you meet a woman has the power to define the rest of your relationship. This is true because of three things: First, because where a woman spends most of her time says a lot about the kind of person she is. If she’s outgoing and likes to party, chances are you’ll meet her at a club. If she’s athletic and competitive, you might find her at a race. If she’s into humanitarian causes, you might bump into her while building a house for Habitat for Humanity. Second, she’ll remember where you met, and that will affect her perception of you. If you meet her at a club, she might assume you only want a casual relationship. If your friends introduce you to her, she’ll know that your friends and her friends already think you might be a good couple, and you’ll probably still see each other sometimes even if you break up. Third, if she makes a big impression on you when you meet, you’ll also remember what circumstances you met under. You might always think of her as the wild girl at the club, even if she normally doesn’t go to clubs. These things set the tone for your relationship. Of course, the circumstances that you meet under don’t have to define the rest of the relationship, but it takes work to erase any negative impressions either one of you might have made. And the very beginning of a relationship is not a good time for problems. The best place to meet women is during the course of your real life. You shouldn’t have to go out of your way to meet women. If you don’t see women with the potential to be great girlfriends during your everyday routine, then you need to get out more – literally. Don’t worry about coming across someone perfect unexpectedly. That’s really the best way to meet women. It’s hard to look desperate for a girlfriend when you’re just going about your business. You can be approachable and attractive even when you aren’t trying to be. Learning how to meet women anywhere makes dating easier on you in the long run. If the only reason you went somewhere was to find single women, you’re going to have a hard time explaining why you don’t want to go back when you have a girlfriend. Desperate men chase after women, and you don’t have to be desperate. Meet women wherever you are and leave a good impression, and sooner or later one is going to show you that she’s interested.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: blind-date, clubs, correspondence, dates, dating, desperate, image, impression, instincts, location, meeting, online, preparation, rules, safety
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Women | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
The first step to getting a great girlfriend is deciding exactly what kind of woman would be right for you. You don’t want to settle for a woman who isn’t someone you like being around for more than just a little while. The point of getting a girlfriend is to have someone to have more fun with. If you get into a relationship and end up miserable, you’re doing something wrong. So first, decide exactly what you want. That’s the only way you’ll stand a chance at getting it. How do you want to date? Do you want fun, casual, short-term relationships with several women at once? Would you rather have one girlfriend who you really have fun with and respect? Do you want to date a few women casually at first and see if you’d like to get more serious later? Who do you want to date? A friendly, down-to-earth girl-next-door? Someone outgoing and adventurous? An elegant and sophisticated woman? A quiet and reserved type who saves most of her attention for you? Or again, several different women so that you can see who you enjoy being around the most? What are you going to do together? Do you want someone to go with to all the local clubs? Would you rather have a girlfriend who sits on the sidelines and cheers for you, or one who will jump right in the game? How about a girlfriend who enjoys a sport or hobby you’ve never tried? It’s a good idea to start working this out now, before you meet her and before she announces that she’s bored with dinner and a movie every time you go out. Right now, you might think that physical attraction is all that a relationship requires, and you’d be right for the first date…maybe. But eventually, if you haven’t thought through what you want to give and receive in your relationship, your girlfriend will get on your nerves until you have to break it off. But if you start off your relationship right, you’ll be much more likely to get a great girlfriend who you’ll never want to leave. Remember that you have to have something to offer in a relationship, too. What will that be? There are a few things that women want that will surprise you, and others that will seem incredibly obvious. And then there are other things that you thought were important that turn out not to matter at all. So what’s fact and what’s fiction? This series will tell you after you figure out what it is that you really want out of your dating life.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: dates, dating, game, games, girlfriend, Love, match, preparation, relationship, serious, woman
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Women | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
The first step to getting a great girlfriend is deciding exactly what kind of woman would be right for you. You don’t want to settle for a woman who isn’t someone you like being around for more than just a little while. The point of getting a girlfriend is to have someone to have more fun with. If you get into a relationship and end up miserable, you’re doing something wrong. So first, decide exactly what you want. That’s the only way you’ll stand a chance at getting it. How do you want to date? Do you want fun, casual, short-term relationships with several women at once? Would you rather have one girlfriend who you really have fun with and respect? Do you want to date a few women casually at first and see if you’d like to get more serious later? Who do you want to date? A friendly, down-to-earth girl-next-door? Someone outgoing and adventurous? An elegant and sophisticated woman? A quiet and reserved type who saves most of her attention for you? Or again, several different women so that you can see who you enjoy being around the most? What are you going to do together? Do you want someone to go with to all the local clubs? Would you rather have a girlfriend who sits on the sidelines and cheers for you, or one who will jump right in the game? How about a girlfriend who enjoys a sport or hobby you’ve never tried? It’s a good idea to start working this out now, before you meet her and before she announces that she’s bored with dinner and a movie every time you go out. Right now, you might think that physical attraction is all that a relationship requires, and you’d be right for the first date…maybe. But eventually, if you haven’t thought through what you want to give and receive in your relationship, your girlfriend will get on your nerves until you have to break it off. But if you start off your relationship right, you’ll be much more likely to get a great girlfriend who you’ll never want to leave. Remember that you have to have something to offer in a relationship, too. What will that be? There are a few things that women want that will surprise you, and others that will seem incredibly obvious. And then there are other things that you thought were important that turn out not to matter at all. So what’s fact and what’s fiction? This series will tell you after you figure out what it is that you really want out of your dating life.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: adventurous, casual, clubs, down-to-earth, elegant, girl-next-door, lifestyle, Love, match, meeting, outgoing, relationship, short-term, sophisticated, supportive
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Women | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
Just as no woman wants a man who isn’t in control of his life, you don’t need a woman whose life is a disaster. If she has bad habits, addictions, or a history of decisions that turn out to make her life worse, pass her by. While you may like to feel needed, you don’t need to feel necessary for her survival in the everyday world. If she isn’t capable of taking care of herself, you don’t need to rescue her. Be nice to her, but don’t think you can cure her of an addiction or teach her how to handle her personal life better. That’s what counselors are for. Trying to take on that role in a romantic relationship just won’t work. If you find yourself attracted to a woman who just doesn’t have her life together, you need to date someone else. Later, when she decides on her own to straighten out her life, you might date her. But until then, don’t even try it. Remember, you want your relationships to be happy. If she can’t be happy because her life is a mess, you can’t make her happy and you can’t be happy with her. You can’t just come in and fix everything for her. That’s her job as an adult. Taking over that job will make her angry with you, no matter how much better your solutions are. Also, constantly having to rescue a woman gets old really quick, so don’t pick that relationship in the first place and you have a better chance of staying together. Hold out for a woman who has her life together. If she is healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially, you’ll be able to tell. She’ll be happy, calm, and self-aware. She won’t have to escape reality with drugs or alcohol, or dull the pain in her life with self-destructive behavior. A woman you want to date will be able to take care of herself and she won’t be desperate for a man to come bail her out. A healthy woman won’t use you for security, because she already has her own. She’ll still want to be with you, but because she likes you, not because of what you can do for her. And she won’t drop you because someone better comes along. She won’t make excuses for dumb decisions and insist that she has no choice but to be a victim. She won’t have drama cluttering up her life which means that she’ll have room for a healthy, happy relationship with you. She’ll like you for YOU, and she’ll be much less likely to be clingy and jealous as well.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: calm, clingy, competent, control, dates, dating, drama, finding, healthy, jealous, match, needs, relationship, romantic, self-aware, self-destructive, woman, women
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Women | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
There are women everywhere, but meeting one you’d like to go out with isn’t nearly as simple as it sounds. Women can be hard to approach, hard to impress, and hard to figure out – and no wonder. Their brains work differently than yours does. They relate to other people in a completely different way than you do. And sometimes, it seems they’re speaking another language, with the same words as yours, but completely different meanings. If you’ve had trouble navigating relationships before, now you know why. Few men really understand what women want, and the ones who do have an edge over the rest of the guys who just blunder along doing their best. For most men, getting a great girlfriend is hit-or-miss. If they try hard enough and long enough, there’s a possibility that they might get lucky. And then there’s the minority – the few men who just “get it”. Those men hardly have to try at all and they have women all over them. It just doesn’t seem fair. The good news? Those men aren’t really so different from you. They just know a few easy-to-learn techniques that make it simple to show women their best qualities. And if they can do it, so can you! You can learn how to get a girlfriend - and not just any girlfriend – a great one! You can learn how to approach women, impress them, and create excellent relationships with them. You can learn what to do, what to say, and how to behave in a way that makes you more powerful, more attractive, and more fun than ever before – and that is exactly what this series is going to teach you. You’re going to learn the pros and cons of several different types of relationships and how to choose the best relationship for you. You’ll find out where the best places to meet women are, and how to get the exact connection you want before you even approach a woman. Find out the impact having more fun has on your attractiveness. You’ll be learning how to catch a woman’s attention, how to tell if she’s interested, and how to make yourself more approachable – all without saying a word. Don’t kill your good impression with desperate pick-up lines or thoughtless mistakes. Learn better ways to flirt, to introduce yourself, and to make yourself memorable. Find out how to cast a wide net and then choose from great women who are interested in you. Whether you want to find a new relationship, you already have a specific woman in mind, you want to date several women or find one great relationship, this series shows you how to take control and make that happen.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: approach, attractiveness, girlfriend, long-lasting, Love, match, meeting, men, mistakes, relationship, self-control, women
Posted in 3, Dating Courses, Dating GURU, Life Coaching | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
Do you ever wonder if there are any guys out there who are worth dating? Where are they? And why can’t you find them? Yes, they’re out there – but maybe you’re looking in the wrong places. You might even know a great guy right now, but you’re passing him by because you aren’t sure what you really want. Chances are you’re letting yourself look for men the way you shop for shoes – changing your mind with each new trend or mood. Finding the right single man is not about pleasing your friends, or a competition for attracting the hottest guy at the party. Finding the right single man only happens when you know what you want in a man. Think of man-hunting like bargain hunting at a clearance sale. Sure, the neon orange skirt is 80% off the regular price, but where would you wear it? That conservative black suit is a classic, but your style is sporty and casual – it just doesn’t fit with the rest of your wardrobe. Buying another tank top that’s not your size won’t look any better because it’s on sale than the one you already have that shrank in the wash. Mr. Neon Orange may be easy to lead around, but he would never fit into your world. Mr. Conservative Black Suit runs with a more formal crowd than your flip flop loving crowd. Mr. Too-Tight Tank Top is just like Mr. Jerk that you spent months crying over last year – do you really want to do that again? You have to know what you want in a man before you can find him. So take out a piece of paper and draw three columns. The left column is for What’s Important, middle column is for Requirements and right column is for Preferences, aka, those little this called compromise points. The What’s Important column includes such items as age, income, appearance, moral value, habits like smoking/drinking, common interests, sports, commitment style and family values. Don’t try to fit any particular guys into this list – not yet. Prepare this list with absolute honesty. Decide what characteristics are must haves (Requirements) and which are like to haves (Preferences). Until you know this information, you really can’t make a solid decision about any guy. Maybe you’ve ignored nagging requirements in order to accept a certain guy as he is. That’s a relationship red flag. If you’re a personal trainer who is into natural foods, you can make all the excuses in the world, but you won’t last with a guy who smokes and craves fatty fast foods 24/7. The conflict between what’s important to him and what’s important to you means that one of you has to change. Don’t count on changing him. If you change your beliefs, how much of yourself gets lost? Over time, you’ll either resent him or resent yourself – the conflict in inevitable. Knowing what you want is the fair way to date. Why waste your time (and his) when the foundational elements aren’t there? It’s also important to be honest with yourself about the type of man that you really want. When you know how to describe him, you’ll have an easier time recognizing him when you meet him. Maybe you already know him – you just didn’t know yourself!
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: conflict, man, man-hunting, men, preferences, relationship, requirements, resentment, trustworthy
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Men | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
Before you start flirting over the copy machine, think about where an office romance could take you. In fact, your company may have a firm policy discouraging dating a co-worker or at least dating a person within the same department. Even if there’s no policy, you need to decide what’s going to be your personal policy about dating that new hot guy in the next cubicle. Granted, you spend many hours weekly at work and it’s only natural that you form friendships and occasionally choose to socialize with co-workers after hours. That time spent away from work pressures can be great for building rapport. If your socializing turns into a romance, then all the rules change. You know that it’s tough enough to concentrate on the mundane chores of your job when your mind is swirling with images of your new man. You sneak personal phone calls, emails and rush out at 4:59pm to get a jump on parking lot traffic just to be with him. Imagine how much more distracting a romance would be if your guy was only a few desks or a floor away from you all day long? Having your guy so close that you can sneak kisses in the supply room sounds wonderful, but it can also create some embarrassing situations. All of your relationship woes could become office fodder for the gossip mills.
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: concerns, flirting, gossip, job, policy, pressure, relationship, socializing, workplace
Posted in Dating Men | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
You had a fabulous time on the first date: He was so easy to talk to that you felt like you had known him for years. He seemed to have your same tastes in food and movies, and you were amazed at how well you got along and look forward to the next date. If you’re honest, you felt such a connection to him that you told your best friend that you may have found your Mr. Right. Then the next day passes with no phone call. After a week, you stop checking voice mail, email or making excuses for him and accept that he’s not going to call you. How do you handle the rejection? You could head for the ice cream shop and drown your sorrows in scoops of rich ice cream with cookies and sprinkles on top. Hanging around the house in an old bathrobe crying is another way to deal with the hurt you feel. Drinking alcohol, driving too fast or getting angry and trash-talking about him are other destructive ways to cope with your sadness. So far that’s a look at how you might act in private or with friends, but eventually you might run into him again. If you work in the same company or even within the same industry, chances are you’ll see him again. If you met him through friends, then you can count on landing in the same social setting before long. How you handle yourself in that situation is going to be seen by others, so you need to think it over before it happens to avoid making a fool of yourself over a guy who doesn’t deserve your attention. Maybe you’ve imagined how you might “tell him off” – but is that what you really want to do? First of all, if he didn’t care enough about you to call after the date as he said he would, then he simply doesn’t care what you think. Telling him how you feel won’t change him because he has no interest in you. If you do that, you are the one who looks foolish in front of friends or co-workers. Or you might be fantasizing about “showing him what he missed” by parading a new date in front of the last one. Reality check: He won’t care and your new guy won’t like being used to cause jealousy in another man. You lose on both counts. The longer you obsess about him, the more you build up something that’s more than what it ever was. You can analyze your dating conversation a thousand ways so that you eventually hear something that wasn’t said and believe something that never happened. That’s the power of obsession – it turns reality into fantasy that you begin to believe. Don’t resort to high school dating tricks like sending him anonymous cards that are sweet or sarcastic. And definitely don’t drive by his house at all hours to see who is with him. You can’t win him over by stalking him, just be glad that he realized you two weren’t right for each other and move on to find the one who will treasure you most. In short, as one friend aptly expressed: If someone’s dishonored you, don’t let them live rent-free in your head. Move On!!!
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: communication, connection, conversation, dating, destructive, internet, Love, match, obsess, online, rejection, simpatico, social, sorrows, women
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Courses, Dating Men | No Comments »
Friday, February 27th, 2009
Dressing for a date night says a lot about yourself and about how you perceive your date. It’s not that you have to be phony or dress differently, but you do have to dress appropriately for the plans he’s made for the date. Dressing for a date when you aren’t sure about the evening plan is like going to a job interview. You’ve certainly heard the advice, dress for the job you want, rather than the job you have. That means you dress up just a bit more. For a date, apply the same advice. If you aren’t sure what to wear, go with business casual and sensible shoes. If you wear a sleeveless top, bring along a hoodie or light sweater, since you don’t know whether you’ll be inside a chilly movie theatre or sitting outside at a patio restaurant after the evening temperatures drop. It’s a smart idea to ask your date what kind of evening he has planned. If he wants to keep it a surprise, then ask whether you need to dress as you would for the office, for a sports event or for an elegant party. That gives you a range for which to choose your outfit. How you dress says so much about who you are. If you go out in a halter top with cleavage barely contained and a mini-skirt that slightly larger than his handkerchief, then you’re sending a message that he reads as “Yes” and other women may be quick to label you as “easy”. You’ll get plenty of attention, but the wrong kind of attention. If you’re getting back into the dating scene after a few years, take time to look over the current magazines for casual styles. Then ask other women who have similar styles to yours what they would wear for a date. Basic rule of thumb: if you haven’t dated for five years or more, don’t wear what you use to wear on dates. Chances are you will telegraph your dating scene absence with a wardrobe that needs freshening up. You don’t have to buy all new clothes – just edit your outfits and add a bold item that’s current. A few quick words about age-appropriate dressing: Even if you’ve lost lots of weight and just got a facelift, don’t go shopping in the junior department after age 25. You’ll add to your age by trying to look too young. So if your pre-teen daughter loves the t-shirt dress, buy it for her and not for yourself. Even if your wardrobe basics do double duty for work and social wear, keep a few items reserved only for dates. That doesn’t mean something too suggestive or provocative. Instead, find a color-saturated sweater in a shade that makes your eyes sparkle and draws attention to your face or a wrap dress that shows your figure in tastefully sexy ways and wear those items for date night. Then you’ll start the evening feeling good in an outfit that makes you feel special even before he walks through the door!
Ó 2009 Prepare LLC and Anna Karimo. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: appropriate, attire, business-casual, clubs, dates, dating, dinner, dress, easy, elegant, judgement, match, meeting, outfit, perception, preparation, provocative, romantic, sexy, style, suggestive, tasteful, wardrobe
Posted in Blind Dates, Dating Men | No Comments »
